lemons

So sorry, I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything and I hate it when I disappoint my fans and admirers.   It's been a hectic week.  If you're not privy to my current situation in a nut shell I'm broke.  I mean like a joke.  I have yet to find employment, which hopefully is finally turning around, and I owe a lot of money to several creditors.  A lot.

I knew and know what kind of trouble I'm in and to some I seem oblivious, but I'm not.  I'm well aware of the dire circumstances that my past choices have put me in today.  I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed either.  I'm heading into a new chapter of my life, hopefully and prayerfully for the better.  I lost my car about a week ago.  Not my favorite moment.  I felt really dumb when I looked out the window and realized my car was being taken away.  So I thought I'd be able to get it out.  Well I can, but I can't.  It's way out of my financial ability to get that stupid car out of repo.  I'm willing to pay the bank fees and even some of the repo company's fees, but I refuse to pay all the repo's fees.  They are outrageous! I can use the money for other things so that's not a big deal, but I really wanted my car.  I've felt very isolated since not having a car.  I can't just get up and go if I wanted to and I hate asking for a ride.  I was offered the use of someone's bike... but I'll humbly decline that offer because I'm pretty sure it wasn't given in complete honesty. 

So I'm without a vehicle until I don't know when.  I'm also in the process of moving.  Yeah I know, I hate it too.  I love my house and the fact that I have a house.  Unfortunately even if I got a job tomorrow there is no way I can afford it and keep up on all my other bills.  So I've decided to take a friend up on their offer to move in until I can get back on my feet.  Thank God (and I mean that literally because God has been in this all the way) a different friend asked if I would rent out the house to them.  So my house isn't going to go into foreclosure, which is awesome!  And it's an extra 100 a month in my pocket. 

The last few days I've been selling furniture and packing up stuff.  I'm purging a lot out of my life and it's very therapeutic.  I think this whole experience has been a needed stripping of my being.  To cleanse me of all this junk that I didn't even know I had.  I've definitely gotten closer in my walk with God.  I know to some that is hard to believe for obvious reasons, but it's very true.  It's a chance for me to begin again.